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On advice of @efgen I split this question into two - one for New York and one for Panama, but left the same detail for both thinking the fact that Robert Sellars was in both geographic areas might help solve the "mystery". I now know considerably more than I did when first posing this question so will try to revise it without changing its original nature

• Robert John Steven in Albany, New York, USA on 3 Jan 1854
• William in New York City, USA in about 1857 - record has now been found
• John in Panama, South America in about 1863

• Birth of Robert John Steven (or Stephen?) Sellars on 3 Jan 1854 in Albany
• Possible birth of Margaret Sellars in about 1856 in Albany or New York City
• Birth of William Sellars in about 1857 in New York City
• Possible death of Margaret Sellars aged about 5 or less before 1861 most likely in New York City
• Death of Hugh Sellars aged about 68 or more after 1872 in Albany
• Death of Mary Sellars aged anywhere over about 50 after about 1855 in Albany - record has now been found

On advice of @efgen I split this question into two - one for New York and one for Panama, but left the same detail for both thinking the fact that Robert Sellars was in both geographic areas might help solve the "mystery". I now know considerably more than I did when first posing this question so will try to revise it without changing its original nature

• Robert John Steven in Albany, New York, USA on 3 Jan 1854
• William in New York City, USA in about 1857 - record has now been found
• John in Panama, South America in about 1863

• Birth of Robert John Steven (or Stephen?) Sellars on 3 Jan 1854 in Albany
• Possible birth of Margaret Sellars in about 1856 in Albany or New York City
• Birth of William Sellars in about 1857 in New York City
• Possible death of Margaret Sellars aged about 5 or less before 1861 most likely in New York City
• Death of Hugh Sellars aged about 68 or more after 1872 in Albany
• Death of Mary Sellars aged anywhere over about 50 after about 1855 in Albany - record has now been found

• Robert John Steven in Albany, New York, USA on 3 Jan 1854
• William in New York City, USA in about 1857 - record has now been found
• John in Panama, South America in about 1863

• Birth of Robert John Steven (or Stephen?) Sellars on 3 Jan 1854 in Albany
• Possible birth of Margaret Sellars in about 1856 in Albany or New York City
• Birth of William Sellars in about 1857 in New York City
• Possible death of Margaret Sellars aged about 5 or less before 1861 most likely in New York City
• Death of Hugh Sellars aged about 68 or more after 1872 in Albany
• Death of Mary Sellars aged anywhere over about 50 after about 1855 in Albany

• Robert John Steven in Albany, New York, USA on 3 Jan 1854
• William in New York City, USA in about 1857 - record has now been found
• John in Panama, South America in about 1863

• Birth of Robert John Steven (or Stephen?) Sellars on 3 Jan 1854 in Albany
• Possible birth of Margaret Sellars in about 1856 in Albany or New York City
• Birth of William Sellars in about 1857 in New York City
• Possible death of Margaret Sellars aged about 5 or less before 1861 most likely in New York City
• Death of Hugh Sellars aged about 68 or more after 1872 in Albany
• Death of Mary Sellars aged anywhere over about 50 after about 1855 in Albany - record has now been found

• Robert John Steven in Albany, New York, USA on 3 Jan 1854
• William in New York City, USA in about 1857
• John in Panama, South America in about 1863

• Robert John Steven in Albany, New York, USA on 3 Jan 1854
• William in New York City, USA in about 1857 - record has now been found
• John in Panama, South America in about 1863