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I am a female, who was adopted at birth.

I had been searching for my birthmother and found her through a 2nd cousin match on Ancestry, but she passed away in 2010. I was able to locate her brother, who was there for my birth. None of her family knew who my birth father was.

I finally got a 1st cousin match, in May of this year. He didn't match with any of my bio mom's family, so I figured he had to be on my birth father's side. I messaged my 1st cousin, who is male. My 1st cousin told me his father, only had one brother, so we thought it had to be him. I sent him a letter in June and two weeks later, he called me. He said that he was dating his, now, wife, at the time, and she did not know about his affair. He said he remembered having a one night stand with my birth mother, the exact time-frame I would have been conceived.

He told his wife, who was less than thrilled, but is okay now, and his two grown children, and all was well. We were convinced, I was his daughter. We have been talking weekly, and have been forming a really close relationship. He decided to schedule a visit to come meet me in person, but before he came, I told him I'd like do a DNA test with him through Ancestry, just to make 100% sure, so I had it sent to him and he sent his test to Ancestry.

Since we were almost certain I was his daughter, (although it was against my better judgement. He was so anxious to meet me,) our visit was this weekend, even though the test results weren't in yet. We thought we had another 1-3 weeks before the results were in. Last night, as I was about to take him back to the hotel, I was going to read my exchange with his nephew, my 1st cousin match, back when I first discovered our initial match on Ancestry.

I had a notification that I had a new DNA match. HE was the new match. I started reading the results, but it says "Close Family" match, not "Parent" match. I finally read them out loud to him and my husband. As I read the results to him, we all became heartbroken and crushed.

How could this be?

I am absolutely baffled!!! It's showing he and I share 1,762 centimorgans shared across 48 DNA segments. Is he really my Uncle? My 1st cousin match, who is his nephew, is showing we share 1205 centimorgans shared across 40 DNA segments. My first cousin match and I put our raw DNA on GEDmatch, and it shows 1.8 generation. There are NO other brothers. Also, who I thought was my birth father, remembers being with my birth mother, around the time of my conception.

Could the test be wrong?

I am so upset.

  • luv2rgu28 I can't add anything to Georg Gaal's answer but I wanted to share with you that my husband has just found a daughter that he gave up for adoption 30 plus years ago, and I understand how grueling waiting on the DNA can be. We met her about 10 days ago and all went well. I am super ecstatic about this because this was a burden on my husband's heart for years, plus she is so kind and loving to us - how could we not be elated to have her in our lives? She and my husband were willing to meet without the DNA tests being confirmed, but as it happens the test results came back about a week b – Laura Sep 26 '17 at 19:27
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    I wish I had an answer for you, I know the frustration. Is your first cousin's father alive to test? Does your cousin have any siblings to test? Although I've heard people say the more people that are tested, helps with the research. Not necessarily in my case...it got more confusing. For you, testing more ppl might be the answer. I hope you get those answers! – Cheryl Oct 6 '17 at 15:40
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Unfortunately, the test can't be wrong. If it states that you have ONLY 1762 cM with this person, it means that you are in relations like uncle/niece or grandparents with their grandchild.

Of course, there is possibility that you took test from one person (you thought so) and send for another. Such mess happens when you have more than one kit and take the material from more than one man at once. It is human factor and doesn't have anything common with the test quality.

Please don't be baffled and crushed. It is just emotion. It will fade. I believe that you will build great relationship with your probable uncle and reveal the truth about your birth

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Could your 1st cousin be your half sibling? If you share the same father and not the same mother, your DNA wouldn't be the same to that of a full sibling.

  • Yes, according to DNA painter, at 1205, there's a 17% chance. However " this relationship has a positive probability for 1205cM in thednageek's table of probabilities, but falls outside the bounds of the recorded cM range (99th percentile)".. So it's extremely unlikely. – Joao Ventura Sep 19 '18 at 15:29
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According to DNA painter, at 1762 cM, you're 100% in the grandparent/uncle range. (https://dnapainter.com/tools/sharedcmv4/1762)

There is a 17% chance that your 1st cousin is in reality your half-brother, though... (https://dnapainter.com/tools/sharedcmv4/1205)

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