I am brand new to DNA testing and relationships. We did a 23 and me due to a health scare, there was a sale so we say why not see ancestry and family too.

My husband's test came back saying someone he grew up with as his "cousin" was a half sibling with 24.94% shared DNA at 1855cm's. This woman was thought to be related on fathers mothers side as a cousin. The X on 23 and me when looking at their shared DNA data is shaded, I guess it means "not identical".

My husand does not want to contact the match! But he did ask his mom about her grandmother, father, how they're related. His mom said they actually aren't, that her younger siblings are by marriage only but she is not related in any way and that her mother, though she has the same last name (a common one) is not related to his father's mother (she and her sister have their mom's maiden name).

I was working on a tree thinking maybe double cousin, pedigree collapse..... but I can't find ANY info on this woman's father, grandparents, nothing!!! And he doesn't want to initiate contact.

I have GEDmatch and FTDNA but this person is not on there. All other matches are 3rd cousins and out that names aren't even familiar (there's a few of clearly his mom and dad but VERY FEW) so using matches in common is helpful. Any other advice?

The age difference between my husband and this match is 4 years.

  • 1
    Hi, welcome to G&FH.SE! I have lightly edited your question to make it more readable. (I took out the all caps because screen readers for the visually impaired read out the letters one at a time; most sighted readers don't realize that it's not very friendly to write in all caps.) Please check my edits to make sure I haven't changed your meaning! You can fix things by using the edit link underneath your question. Please take the tour to learn more about the site, since Stack Exchange has a different format and etiquette than the forums or other sites you may be familiar with.
    – Jan Murphy
    Jul 27, 2021 at 2:43
  • Did you mean to say using matches in common is NOT helpful, since you don't have enough to work with?
    – Jan Murphy
    Jul 27, 2021 at 2:50


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